Kyle Burbank

Freelance writer and author

A hub for the witty creations of Kyle Burbank, a writer in Glendale, CA. Download sample scripts, read daily musings in blog form, watch videos and more.

Here age relives fond memories of the past...

When I was in high school, almost 10 years ago now, I wrote for the Chandler High Wolf Howl.  My friend Mic (pronounced "Mike" or the short version of "microphone") and I didn't have the same enthusiasm for hard journalism as the others on staff, and, instead, our articles were mainly opinion based.  Of course, this articles were really just a guise to work in as many "jokes" and references to make ourselves laugh as possible.  

I remember our article writing process would go something like this: 1) BS a topic to write on. 2) Start a draft to look busy. 3) Put in some obscene or insane joke that would never be allowed to be printed. 4) Show Mic said joke.  5) Delete said joke and find a tamer one. 6) Turn in article to the teacher for editing.  7) Fight for my favorite jokes. 8) Repeat steps 6-7 as necessary 9) Cut my loses or wear the teacher down and complete the article.

This went on for 2 years.  Sure I would occasionally have to write a news or sports story (approximately one of each in that 2 year span), but mostly we got our way.

I was able to dig up some of these articles so I thought I would share them here.  Keep in mind, they were written by a 16 year old who was just messing around.  Also, there may be some references you may not get.  Then of course some of the jokes may have been so tamed that they are no longer funny, or they just weren't funny to begin with.  In those cases, I'm sure Mic wrote them.

-Kyle